More Principles from “How to Win Friends and Influence People”

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In my last post I shared principles from the book “How to Win Friends and Influence People” by Dale Carnegie on Becoming a Friendlier Person. If you missed it, you can see it here.

Moving forward to the next section of Mr. Carnegie’s classic, I’d like to share ten principles on How To Win People to Your Way of Thinking:

1. Show respect for the other person’s opinions. Never say, “You’re wrong.”
2. If you are wrong, admit it quickly and emphatically.
3. Begin in a friendly way.
4. Get the other person saying, “Yes, yes” immediately.
5. Let the other person do a great deal of the talking.
6. Let the other person feel that the idea is his or hers.
7. Try honestly to see things from the other person’s point of view.
8. Be sympathetic with the other person’s ideas and desires.
9. Appeal to the nobler motives.
10. Dramatize your ideas.

Once again, I recommend reading (or re-reading) the book for an expanded description of each principle. Find it on Amazon here.

In my next and final post in this series, I’ll be sharing Dale Carnegie’s 10 principles on How to Be a Leader.

Until then I remain,

Yours in Success,

Jim

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How to Win Friends and Influence People

I’m a big fan of personal development. I read and/or listen to anything I can get my hands on in the personal development/success genre. I believe it’s important to keep one’s mind focused on positive, successful thoughts at all times.

One of the first books I read in this area was “How to Win Friends and Influence People” by Dale Carnegie. It is a classic that stands the test of time. The principles contained in this book are fundamental human relationship skills, and still hold true today. I might even suggest they are more needed in today’s world.

I’d like to share 9 basic principles that Mr. Carnegie describes in “How to Win Friends and Influence People”. I encourage you to read this book, or re-read it if it’s been a while. You can learn more about these principles and others in more depth. For now, here’s a summary of the Principles for Becoming a Friendlier Person:

1. Don’t criticize, condemn or complain.
2. Give honest, sincere appreciation.
3. Arouse in the other person an eager want.
4. Become genuinely interested in other people.
5. Smile.
6. Remember that a person’s name is to that person the sweetest and most important
sound in any language.
7. Be a good listener. Encourage others to talk about themselves.
8. Talk in terms of the other person’s interests.
9. Make the other person feel important – and do it sincerely.

These may seem like basic common sense principles, but if more people learned these principles and more importantly, practiced them, the world would certainly be a much more pleasant and friendly place.

I’ll be sharing more principles in my next blog post.

Until then I remain,

Yours in Success,

Jim

Abraham’s “Creative Workshop” Law of Attraction Affirmations

In Esther & Jerry Hicks’ teachings of Abraham, as featured in their book, Ask and It Is Given, they give a great set of affirmations or life statements that I believe are quite powerful in learning to deliberately create your own future.

I’d like to share the following passage with you here. If we read these statements every day, and most importantly, believe these statements, it can be very empowering to your life and helpful to create the mindset that you can be, do, and have everything you desire in life.

As with all affirmations and Law of Attraction-type meditations or instructions, it’s important to remember that simply reciting them while sitting on a couch will not bring you your dream life. It will require you to DO something. (that’s why I call it the Law of AttrACTION on my Attracting Your Dreams blog). However, the first step is to actually BELIEVE you CAN have everything you want. These affirmations will help you create that belief.

Without further ado, here’s the excerpt:

I like being here, for I recognize the value and power of this time. I feel very good as I am here. And as I see myself, I see myself as a sort of total package, one that I know is of my own creating, and certainly one of my choosing. I’m full of Energy, tireless, really, moving through life experience with no resistance. I see myself gliding about in this picture of self, moving in and out of my car, in and out of buildings, in and out of rooms, in and out of conversations, and in and out of life experiences. I am flowing effortlessly, comfortably, and happily.

I see myself attracting only those who are in harmony with my current intent. And I’m becoming more aware of what I desire. When I get into my vehicle and I’m moving to a place, I see myself arriving at that place healthy, refreshed, and on time, and prepared for whatever it is that I’m about to do there. I see myself dressed to perfection in just the manner I choose.

And it’s nice to know that it does not matter what others are doing, or what others are thinking about what I’m doing. What is important is that I’m pleased with me. And as I see myself in this picture of self, I certainly am.

I recognize that I’m unlimited in all facets of my life. I have an unlimited bank account. I am experiencing no financial limitations. I’m making all my decisions based upon whether I want the experience or not, not based upon whether I can afford it. I know that I’m a magnet attracting whatever level of prosperity, health, or relationships I choose.

I choose absolute and continuing abundance, for I understand that there is no limit to the wealth in the Universe, and that by my attracting abundance to me, I’m not limiting another. There’s enough for everyone. It’s not necessarily about putting a big stash away. For what ever I want or need, I can easily bring into my experience. There’s an unlimited supply of money and prosperity of all kinds available to me.

I see myself surrounded by others who, like me, desire growth, who are drawn to me by my willingness to allow them to be, do, or have whatever they’re wanting. I see myself interacting with others – talking, laughing, and enjoying that which is perfect in them while they’re enjoying that which is perfect in me. We’re appreciating each other. No one is criticizing or noticing unwanted things.

I see myself in perfect health, in absolute prosperity, appreciating this physical life experience, which I wanted so much as I decided to be this physical Being.

It’s glorious to be here, making decisions with my physical brain but accessing the power of the Universe through the power of the Law of Attraction. And it’s from this marvelous state of being that I now attract more of the same. It’s good. I’s fun. I like it very much.

And now, my work for this day is done. I will leave my Creative Workshop and I’ll set out, for the remainder of this day, looking for more things that I like. My work is done.

I hope you enjoyed the above excerpt. It can be a very powerful tool in shifting to an empowering  mindset.

As with all of my blog posts, please comment or share.

Yours in peace and success,

Jim

 

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Beware of Your F#*%ing Comfort Zone

We’ve all heard the advice, “you’ve got to step out of your comfort zone”, “get uncomfortable”, “do something outside of your comfort zone”. And if you’re like me, you probably think, “yeah, I know I have to get out of my comfort zone, and I know things happen on the other side of my comfort zone, but……”

Yes, there’s usually a “but”, an excuse of some sort that keeps us inside our comfort zone. What we have to do is treat our comfort zone like the lazy ass that it is. You don’t want any part of that cursed “comfort zone”. Your comfort zone holds you back, keeps you down and does NOT want you to be doing anything that makes you feel uncomfortable.

Think about all the accomplishments you’ve had in your life. Chances are you completely ignored your comfort zone and stepped way outside of it, and that’s when the magic happened. All the things that ended up as something good in your life started by you getting uncomfortable. Maybe it was when you asked for that first dance, or that first date. Maybe your first day of school, or a job interview, or the first day of that course you took . You had to step out of your comfort zone. Getting married, buying a house, all these things forced you to get uncomfortable.

But, all these things also forced you to grow. Growth can only happen by first doing something we fear. Your comfort zone sucks! Your comfort zone stops you from growing and becoming the person you want to be. Yes, it feels nice and warm and cozy staying in your comfort zone but it doesn’t serve you. You need to tell it where to go, and then get up and march right past that comfort zone like you don’t even notice it. It’s the only way to grow.

Uncomfortably yours,

Jim

Of Internet “Gurus”

I’m one of those people who like to subscribe to almost anything. If I come across a website or blog that I find valuable in any way, I will usually subscribe to their newsletter, if they have one available.
However, more often than not (actually, about 95% of the time), I end up unsubscribing.

Why? I find that a lot of these people sending out a newsletter are just trying to sell you their products, or other people’s products!
They are really just internet marketers, and although they may provide some value, and their website content could be quite good, the emails are all about buying this or buying that. A big one is the dreaded “webinar”. I love the idea of a webinar – people connecting with like-minded people from all corners of the globe to learn, share and discuss ideas, thoughts and strategies. That’s fantastic, right?
Well, usually (again – about 95% of the time) that webinar is only a glorified sales letter. Just once, I’d like to be on a webinar and NOT have them try to sell me something or sign up for something at the end of it.

I realize these folks are only trying to get their product or service out there, and I’m all for that.
I believe, however, that they would have a lot fewer UNSUBSCRIBES if they didn’t try to push their stuff on people all the time.

The better way? I think a much more pleasant, accepting method would be to provide something of value in a newsletter, once a week for example, and build a relationship with the reader. Build a community of subscribers, sharing and learning from each other.

Then perhaps 2 or 3 times a year, send out a newsletter (or have a webinar) selling a product or service.
People would value a newsletter (and its author) much more if they thought they actually cared for the reader.
Once the author has that trust built, people would be less inclined to unsubscribe. I think a good ratio of valuable content to sales pitch should be approximately 8:1 (10:1 would be even better).

There are people out there doing it this way, but they are definitely the minority. A couple of my favourite bloggers who embody this ideal approach are Seth Godin and Randy Gage. (Click their names to visit their blogs.)

I’d love to hear your thoughts on this too. Please leave a comment if you feel so inclined.

Peace & Blessings,

Jim

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SHOW, Don’t Tell!

I read a great blog the other day over at Copyblogger.com

It was written by Steve Kamb, and the title of the post was “How to Blog Like Bond. James Bond”. You can view it here.

Mr. Kamb demonstrates the importance of combining skill with confidence and style (like James Bond) in your blog posts. One point that he made really stuck with me and that’s what I want to talk about today.

He states that “a little modesty can go a long way”, and I couldn’t agree more. We never see James Bond brag about how good he is – he just IS!

I continue to notice an ever-increasing plethora of experts and gurus, especially on the internet, most of whom are “self-proclaimed” experts and gurus. People that brag and boast about how great they are, are generally looked down upon in real life, so why should the internet be any different? People want to follow leaders who get the job done, not those who say they get the job done. Talk is cheap, in fact it’s probably the cheapest thing in the world. And how can something so cheap have any value? It can’t! It’s only actions that have value.

I think there are 3 types of people in regards to this: There are those who talk and do nothing. There are those who talk and do something, and there are those who don’t talk and do something. (I suppose there is a fourth type – those who don’t talk and don’t do anything, but we don’t really need to pay any attention to that group). The first group are often the loudest and the ones we hear first, but it’s usually just a matter of time before we realize who they really are. The second and third groups will both get the job done; however, that second group will also keep telling you how great they are, while the third group will be  more likely to build you up instead of themselves. To me, that’s what real leaders do!

So, let’s not tell people how great we are, let’s show them!

What’s YOUR Business Card Made Of?

One of my favorite places to visit is the book store. I love those big book store chains because they have such a great and diverse selection in almost any category, and because I can also look at some of the latest in music, not to mention get a good cup of coffee.

While I was perusing some titles in the business section recently, I noticed some business cards lying around on a couple of the shelves, and on the floor. Obviously, someone had decided this might be a good way to get some new prospects for their home business opportunity….but is it?

I realize there are people out there in the network marketing profession that use this tactic to try to get new leads, but come on people – is that really working for you?

I think we need to be more professional than that. Your business card is an extension of you. It is your introduction to the world, another’s first impression of “you”. When you give your business card to someone, treat it as if it’s a piece of gold you’re giving them. They should feel privileged to receive it. The more value they place on your card, the more value they will place on you, and in turn, your business. If you scatter your card everywhere and anywhere, it lessens the value of it, thereby lessening the value of you and your business.

Who would you value more – the guy whose card you found in your windshield, or the guy whose card was handed to you in a personal conversation?

If we want the Network Marketing profession to become more mainstream and more accepted, then we have to treat it with more professionalism.

Having respect for your business means having respect for yourself. Don’t cheapen your image by throwing your business cards all over the sidewalk. Treat your cards with the respect your business deserves. Be selective where you hand out those pieces of gold.

The 10 Human Victories

As promised, albeit a little late, here is the follow-up list to the 10 Human Regrets as taken from the book, “The Leader Who Had No Title” by Robin Sharma. Hopefully, this will serve to inspire us to make sure we live our lives so that we end up with the 10 Human Victories and NOT the 10 Human Regrets.

The 10 Human Victories

1. You reach your end full of happiness and fulfillment on realizing that you are all used up, having spent the fullness of your talents, the biggest of your resources, and the best of your potential doing great work, leading a rare air life.

2. You reach your end knowing that you played at a concentrated level of excellence and held yourself to the most impeccable of standards in each thing that you did.

3. You reach your end in noisy celebration for having the boldness of spirit to have regularly confronted your largest fears and realized your highest visions.

4. You reach your end and realize that you became a person who built people up versus one who tore people down.

5. You reach your end with the understanding that, while your journey may not have always been a smooth one, whenever you got knocked down you instantly got back up, and at all times never suffered from any loss of optimism.

6. You reach your end and bask in the staggering glory of your phenomenal achievements along with the rich value you have contributed to the lives of the people you were lucky to serve.

7. You reach your end and adore the strong, ethical, inspirational and empathetic person you grew into.

8. You reach your end and realize that you were a genuine innovator who blazed new trails instead of following old roads.

9. You reach your end surrounded with teammates who call you a rock star, customers who say you’re a hero, and loved ones who call you a legend.

10. You reach your end as a true “leader without a title”, knowing that the great deeds you did will endure long after your death, and that your life stands as a model of possibility.